You’re So Brave Lizz!

Brave!

 

“You’re so brave Lizz”

 

Yeah, maybe 🤔 

Or maybe it was a choice of mental health over fighting a very broken system?

It’s one year since I fell apart.

So much focus is put on the kids being in school

Going to meetings -TAC-CAHMS-LA

‘Doing as they’re told’

Fines being threatened, 

Kids in tears 😭 

Anxiety attacks

Text messages every morning 

Phone calls challenging my parenting

and much more….

I held on for 7 years.

7 years of jumping through the hoops set by the education department, the local authority, CAHMS, the family outreach program to name a few- they asked and I jumped!

I even taught the local high school to set up special cards for my son to use, if he couldn’t verbalise his words, if he needed his tie off because his eczema was horrendous around his neck (stress) he needed certain shoes because of eczema again…a card for taking 5 minutes in the hallway to decompress or go and see the school nurse.

 

 

 

 

I had to teach the SEN teachers how to do that! A simple thing that I know for a fact they still use today- it wasn’t in place until I requested it.

He wasn’t allowed in the SEN dept because at the time he wasnt ‘officially’ diagnosed.

And the biggest issue with that is because the school is massive many many teachers called him a liar and wouldn’t accept the cards-despite them clearly being made in the school with logo and teacher signatures.

But other than that, what did they do to help?

Nothing. Well they threatened me with fines…

With the exception of CAHMS helping my son somewhat and one lovely school nurse -they did nothing but continue to move the goal posts.

 

 

 

 

Then last year after my daughter struggled through years 5 & 6 she was due to start high school.

I did my best to be positive to get things set up for her in the new school. I enrolled her in a different school to what her brother had been in-ever hopeful that it would be different-better.

But by day 2 she had fallen apart.

She was having panic attacks at bedtime and in the morning before school.

So I began requesting help & meetings for her.

All the while I’m slowly dying inside.

I can’t do this again.

I don’t have it in me to fight for at least another 5 years.

We began the meetings, the ‘we promise X will happen’ to be met with it’s NOT in fact happening and my daughter falling to pieces in front of my eyes.

By day 9 she was done.

 

 

 

 

Sitting in the car crying, me hysterical. I remember screaming a primal scream from my gut, one I’ve never experienced before and I hope never to again.

We had to make a decision.

I’m thankful that my partner understands and agreed I’d have the final say. He understood that it was me dealing with everything because he was at work and didn’t have to do all the phone calls & meetings and sad, suicidal children.

I’m so grateful I made the decision to home educate.

Am I brave? I guess maybe?

But I was backed into a corner by the establishment and it was do or die.

We chose ‘do’ and it was the best decision for our family as a whole.

We’ve experienced a freedom in this past year that I had forgotten!

A true chance to start again, to enjoy life and to most importantly heal the wounds the system had created.

We love education in this house! I personally am a life long student and now I get to pass that LOVE on to my kids without the threats hanging over our heads.

It’s thrilling and messy and all mine!

 

Love, Lizz xoxo