Why I Do This Work…

 

 

 

Simple really: I want to be there for other parents in ways that I really could’ve used in the past.

 

Mum of 2 neurodiverse kids, I’ve recently been diagnosed ADHD at the tender young age of 43 😅

But why now? Specifically?

I’m coming out the other side of nearly 8 years fighting the ‘system’ for support for my son.

This is the short version 😅

 

I’ve been gaslit, patronised and looked into by social services because of my supposed inability to get my son to school.

 

 

 

 

THE REALITY?

I knew he was Autistic but the school would not believe me until we got a formal diagnosis. That, of course, took 5 years!

Guess what happens when he finally got his official diagnosis?

Covid 🤯

Yeah that crazy time of our lives turned everything upside down didn’t it?

 

TURNING POINT NO.1

My son got his GCSE’s because he didn’t have to sit them as usual because of the pandemic. This was a good thing because he never would’ve made it in to school to complete them.

The downside? He and I fell apart due to the stress of lockdown.

Life became about survival in many ways and once life moved forward from lockdown I didn’t ask him to do anymore education. He wasn’t mentally or physically able to do anything. So I took all ‘asks’ and expectations away.

 

 

 

 

MY DAUGHTER

My girl was in primary school here in the UK and whilst lockdown was hard for her in some ways she absolutely thrived in others.

She was fairly happy at primary school but that was only thanks to one very special teacher, to whom I’ll be forever grateful.

I knew by this point that my daughter was neurodivergent, specifically ADHD and this teacher ‘got it’. She enabled us to communicate with a small notebook each day, gave my daughter the chance to be listened too and most importantly actually HEARD. 

 

MOVING TO HIGH SCHOOL

I was super dubious as to how starting high school would go for her.

I was also utterly terrified that I was about to face 5+ more years of fighting systems to get her the reasonable adjustments she required to thrive.

But we tried. I did my best to be upbeat and positive about the change. We did all the visits to school and informed them of what she’d need…

 

 

 

 

ONE MORNING

Exactly 9 days in to starting high school, my daughter collapsed into a pile of mush in the school office.

ENOUGH! 

Thankfully my partner was with us that morning and finally witnessed what we’d been going through, first hand. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know.

 

WE LEFT THE SCHOOL

I drove home and in our driveway let out the most guttural scream. I was stunned. All those years of being gaslit came out in that scream…

I was DONE.

 

8 years of fighting for sensible and appropriate and needed support had completely and utterly destroyed our family.

I deregistered her from school that day.

THAT WAS 2 NEARLY YEARS AGO 

And it was the most freeing life decision I’ve ever made!

Is it easy? No.

Did we have lots of money to fund it? No, we were living on my partner’s wage and benefits. 

Is it more fulfilling? Hell yeah it is!

So here we are:

My son has been under no demands for 3 years and is finally, finally, starting to come out of his autistic burnout and tentatively step back into the world. 

My daughter is being educated at home and is the free spirited wonder I knew she was!

Me? I have brain space again and that’s why I’m here!

I’d like to teach you the HOW, how I wish I’d responded back then, how we operate low demand parenting, how we find joy in the small things and how that genuinely looks and works for us.

Nice to meet you 💜

Lizz xoxo