AuDHD Parenting And Overwhelm
Touched Out? š¤š¼Ā
Brains feeling fried? š§ ā”ļø
Mentally exhausted? š§ š¤Æ
Dealing with chronic pain?š«
Everybody needing a piece of you and you feel like thereās nothing left for you? š«„
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AuDHD Parenting & Overwhelmā¦
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šHereās some ideas about how I handle it. š
Talk to your kids about it if theyāre old enough. My youngest is 12 and so perfectly capable of having an age appropriate conversation with me.Ā
She herself is ADHD so I simply frame it as āyou know when youāve been with your friends and then afterwards you just need to sit quietly and watch tv or something?
Well thatās how Mummyās feeling right now, so I could really use some space
to just be quiet by myself and do insert thing.
Sometimes for me itās doom scroll Facebook and other times itās do some painting.
Yesterday evening for instance, weāve done stuff together all day as well as the usual chores etc so I told both my kids at dinner time that after dinner I will be having the evening to myself to do what Iād like.Ā
This of course doesnāt mean I ignore them, I still help with bedtimes, snacks and tucking in, BUT it does mean that the kids are expected to chill out in their rooms till lights out thus enabling my man and Ito watch YouTube or game or paint in our own space.
Lastly I remind my kids that in order to be fun mum I need to have boundaries to keep myself mentally happy.
Its such a great way to teach your children these boundaries too!Ā
Does this work flawlessly? FĆ»ck No!Ā
Are you kidding? Theyāre kids and Iām an imperfect human but is it worth giving it a go? FĆ»ck Yes!
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šThe Bountiful Magic Of Self-Care And The Art Of Self-Compassion.š
Practice patience and self-compassion: Parenting is a journey, boy is it a journey!Ā
And you know what? Itās okay to make mistakes.Ā
You gotta be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion.
For instance yesterday I could feel myself building a volcano in my stomach.Ā
I . Was. Exhausted.Ā
I often say to my kids āIām not wonder woman you know?ā to which my son cutely responds āābut you are!āĀ
Love him!
But I gently remind him I am but a human being doing my best and I get worn out and overwhelmed too-and thatās ok.Ā
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šEmbrace The Mystical Bonds Of Communal Healing By Seeking Solace In Support Groupsš
Consider therapy & support groups:Ā
Seriously joining various support groups for parents and adults with ADHD/Autism etc has absolutely saved my life. Not even being dramatic.Ā
Surround yourself, if only on the internet, with supportive people.Ā
You donāt even necessarily have to post yourself, simply sit and read others concerns, questions and musings and youāll find a heap of useful information and advice from people who actually understand your situation.Ā
Seeking therapy can, of course, provide you with valuable coping strategies and a supportive community of people who understand your challenges.Ā
Sadly this isnāt as easy as it should be and isnāt accessible to all, but whilst youāre on a waiting list I suggest you try out the support groups.
Some of my personal favourites are:
Autism Inclusivity: https://www.facebook.com/groups/autisminclusivity/
UK ADHD Women (I hope thereās a male version):Ā https://www.facebook.com/groups/ukwomenwithadhd/
And a couple of home Ed/school based trauma ones:
Not Fine In School:Ā https://www.facebook.com/groups/NFISFamilySupport/
H.E.F.A Home Education For All:Ā https://www.facebook.com/groups/hefa2021/
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šHarness The Power Of Order And Clarity.š
Otherwise known as get organised: ahahahahha too funny! š
BUT if you can find ways to organise your brain like: to-do lists, calendars, and organizational apps, getting Alexa to set reminders to keep track of appointments, school events, medication timers and important dates then do it!
In our house we use a variety of technology (my man especially prefers this way) and old skool paper and pen!Ā
Whatever works for you is good enough.
Try to keep your living space tidy and clutter-free to reduce distractions.
Dont feel bad for being an āuntidyā person, those of us who are ADHD/Neurodivergent often thrive in the creative nooks & crannies of our house!Ā
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šWeave Enchanting Rituals To Beckon Forth The Magic Of Routine.š
Also known as creating routines:Ā
Establishing consistent-well as consistent as youāre able to- daily routines can be a game-changer for parents with ADHD/Autism and for those with kids whoāre ND.
Keeping to specific times for meals, bedtime, and other daily activities.Ā
Visual schedules š
Charts/Big Calendars can help both you and your children stay on track.
Please remember that itās ok if other families DO NOT function this way- thatās fine, but itās not what works for you & your babies.So do what youāve got to do.
We use a combination in our house because each of us is different and require different prompts to help us navigate the day.Ā
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šThe Art Of Parenting: A Magical Yet Arduous Journey.š
Most of all remember that every single parent faces unique challenges, and having ADHD is just one aspect of your big and beautiful life.
With the right strategies, support, and self-care, you can still be a loving and effective parent while managing your ADHD and those of your kids.
For me joining Facebook groups has been life changing, seeking other AuDHD and neurodivergent parents has really opened my eyes to the fact that Iām actually really ānormalā in my struggles and anxiety around parenting.Ā
Donāt hesitate to reach out to professionals, therapists, and support groups for guidance and assistance.
What else has helped you navigate parenting? Let me know in the comments below š
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Lizz xoxo