10 ways I survive school holidays as an ND parent
- Apr 1, 2024
10 ways I survive school holidays as an ND parent
As an AuDHD, Home Educating Mum, I remember only too well the absolutely daunting prospect of the school holidays!
It can absolutely fill you with joy OR fear and quite often both.
I genuinely both LOVED the holidays and was fearful about how MY brain would cope.
I need a lot of ‘quiet time’ to function, to not become overwhelmed and to be the best mum I can be for my kids.
Granted things are different now we home educate, so I thought I could bring a little wisdom as someone around their kids constantly.
I hope you like these 10 top tips to help get you and the kids through the holidays relatively unscathed.
1.
Practice Self-Care: Prioritise self-care activities that help you manage stress and maintain your well-being during the holidays. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading a book, taking a nature walk, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a special interest. Make time-Like, actually MAKE TIME for self-care rituals that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
2.
Communicate Your Needs: Be open and honest with your loved ones and speak in an age appropriate way to your kids, about your needs and preferences during the school holidays.
Advocate for yourself by:
Expressing any sensory sensitivities: I have quiet mornings here and busy afternoons because that’s what works for us as a family.
Social anxieties: choosing to go out to certain places at quieter times of the day for example can help the challenges you may experience.
Communicating your needs: This can help others understand how they can support you and make the holiday period more manageable. Children and adults too, can require gentle reminders, in some cases frequently throughout the day. I’d suggest approaching these reminders as a calm request or even with a funny joke-humour works beautifully in my house. 
3.
Create Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Designate one or several quiet and comfortable spaces in your home where you and your children can retreat when you need a break from sensory overload or social interaction.
For me, (as a mum to 2 over 12 years old) this is either saying ‘Mummy’s in need of some head space, I’m going to do some art at my desk. I need you to find a quiet activity to do by yourself’ and then I’d help them set up their activity and we’d say 1 hour head space time.
I realise this is different for small children in which case I used to follow the same process, except it involved sitting quietly on the sofa with my child whilst I read my book. We have adapted and changed our approach as the children have grown.
It’s also helpful to fill our homes with sensory-friendly items such as weighted blankets, noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, and calming essential oils. Having a safe haven to recharge can help you and your children, cope with the demands of the school holidays.
4.
Create a Routine: While it's important to have a break from the regular school routine, maintaining some structure during the holidays can be beneficial for both your children and you.
Establishing a flexible daily routine that includes time for activities, outings, quiet time, chores, and evening relaxation. It doesn’t have to be all of those things either...
There’s literally NO rules!
As an ND person with ND kids we all thrive on knowing what and when something is expected of us.
If we are having a trip out for example then my eldest needs that information days ahead, as well as the plan in detail, for him to prepare himself mentally for the trip. Even if its something he really, really wants to do, he still needs that time and so I respect it. My youngest is much more relaxed with spontaneous activities but, definitely enjoys, and needs a ‘day off’ afterwards to just do what she’d like to, for example watching movies.
5.
Seek Support and Community: Connect with other parents or support groups (online totally counts) who understand what you're going through during the school holidays. Share your experiences, seek advice, and offer support to others in similar situations. Online communities, local support groups, and even therapy sessions can provide such valuable resources and a sense of belonging during this period.
When my kids were younger it was a real lifeline to meet up with a friend and let the kids play whilst I got some ‘adult’ chat time!
6.
Boredom is actually good for us!
Unstructured time is good for young and older minds alike.
Let them enjoy the chance to figure it out themselves. Maybe you need to guide them a little…I quite often will pretend I'm interested in something out in the garden or doing something that my kids wouldn’t necessarily do, in order to peak their interest.
Don’t underestimate your kids ability to turn mundane tasks into flights of fancy. You remember mud pies? Oh the potions I’d make with grass and flowers!
Dont feel you need to occupy your kids all the time. Of course do things with them but I’d definitely recommend letting them be bored sometimes!
7.
Use opportunities to teach new skills and self-reliance
Not having the pressure to rush out the door in the morning can allow our kids to develop new skills such as getting their own breakfast and lunch, taking the dog for a walk or going to the shops by themselves.
This is not only great for their self esteem it’s also less on our plates to do. Win/Win
Trust your kids, teach your kids and kids will thrive.
8.
Consider your child’s mental health and wellbeing
Whilst it may be a family tradition to go on an annual family holiday or attend a family dinner, maybe your teenager is too overwhelmed and could just use some time with their friends, or your Autistic child doesn't feel able to cope with the changes this time. Consider if it’s really worth maintaining the tradition when it may be at the cost of mental health and wellbeing.
This is something we as a family have had to change greatly over the past 6 or so years. Autistic burnout made it important to take away all ‘asks’ and do what supported our son.
My daughter has had many days out by train to London, concerts, museums and fun experiences in order to not let her feel ‘left out‘. We always made sure one of us stayed home with our son so that stability remained whilst our son recovered.
Remember everything is temporary and things do move forward and change. So consider laying some rock solid ground under your kids feet so they’ll to thrive in the future.
9.
The best things in life are free
Make sure the holidays list includes plenty of free activities such as picnics, bike rides, trips to the beach, movie days, rock collecting, spotting signs of the seasons, arty fun at home, the local library and the great outdoors.
Honestly there are so many free things to do, so try not to feel pressured by social media’s ’perfect parents’ and their insane days out! The majority of us are out here having very quiet and cheap days, but still having a lovely time!
10.
Practice Self-Care: Yes i’m putting it on here again!
Remember to prioritise self-care for yourself as a parent during the school holidays. Take time to relax and recharge by engaging in activities that you enjoy, whether it's reading a book, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby. Don't hesitate to ask for help or delegate tasks to other family members if needed.
Taking care of yourself allows you to be more present and patient with your children, it also teaches your children to be mindful of their own needs and will help them advocate for themselves in the future.
Until next time,
Stay Beautiful,
Lizz xoxo